Untethered from the Father-By Haylee Williams
When my daughter was just over a year old, we took her to the beach for the first time since she had learned to walk. Since it was October and cold, we donned our beanies and sweatshirts. The plan was to take a quick walk on the sand and then make our way to lunch after. My diligent husband took our daughter’s hand and walked the distance from our parking spot to the sand and down to the water. The whole way, my daughter thrashed and ripped and pulled as she tried to break free from the strong grasp of her dad. His hand remained steady—holding her back from potential dangers that her tiny mind couldn’t understand. Unbeknownst to our daughter who was desperate to be free, he was being a good father—he was keeping her from tripping in the sand, from wandering off into the arms of a stranger, from the eager dogs bounding along the shoreline, and most importantly, he was keeping her from being swept under the water and out to sea. She was still in diapers, far from having learned the true dangers of the ocean. But her dad knew she needed to be held back from her own folly and he kept her there despite her pudgy fingers trying to unfurl his strong hands. She was insistent on being unencumbered from his restricting hand, but his restrictions were a kindness to her.
Even more than keeping her from physical dangers, my husband was also training our daughter to obey him. He wouldn't let her go because as a child, she was and is still learning what it means to do right. She is growing in obedience and character as we instruct her in the way she should go. This is not just for her own safety, but for her overall good. We love her, so we help her do what is right, just as God has called us to (Deut. 6:7–9).
While watching my girl desperately try to break free at the risk of her own detriment, I was reminded of Psalm 139:5–6 which says, "You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it" (ESV). Like the tender hand of my husband protecting my daughter, God has perfectly set the boundary lines for me as well. He knows the dangers of my desire to jump into an ocean where I cannot swim. He sees the way I am still prone to wander and stumble in the sand. Because I do not and may never have the full picture of these boundaries and the reasons for them, he sets them graciously and keeps me within them. The picture of a father’s care provides imagery of God's care for us. In this particular example, there are four main things my daughter did not understand that I often struggle to understand as well.
First, my daughter didn't understand the dangers before her. She wanted to be free because she thought that the restricting hand of her dad was keeping her from doing good things. In her mind, restrictions meant that she couldn't have as much fun and couldn't enjoy the beach to the fullest extent. In the same way, my frustrations at the boundaries God has given me are because of my lack of knowledge at what dangers could await me on the other side of his gracious limits. I think his limitations for me are stopping me from "my best life now," or are keeping me from being successful, beautiful, or any number of misplaced ideals I hold.
Second, my daughter doesn't like to be restrained. She wants to do what she wants to do. I can relate. Humans have the natural desire for autonomy and freedom. A sinful heart precedes a person that rejects good instruction (Prov. 15:5). My sinful heart is prone to wandering, too. From this perspective, God's restrictions and limitations for me are a grace, not a hindrance to something better.
Third, requiring obedience from our daughter is training her in what is right. In a much more glorious way, God's restrictions for us are for our sanctification. God's hemming in behind and before are conforming us into Christ's image—we are being renewed day by day through God's limits for us. God's restrictions for us are helping us to look more and more like him in a way that our finite minds are incapable of understanding in this life.
Finally, and arguably most importantly, my daughter did not trust that her father was acting out of his desire for her ultimate good. She had no way of knowing that his hands were doing the best work a father could do. All of God's works are good (Ps. 145:9). All of God's commands are good. All of what God has given me (or not given me) is good. God's hand of goodness extends to me by keeping me from myself. More than I could ever be interested in my own good is God's interest in goodness for me (Rom. 8:28). David exemplifies this trust in God through his response to God's limitations: "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me." David didn't fully understand, but he understood enough to know that God worked all things for his good, and that was enough for him.
God's love influences all of his restrictions and limitations. Whether we get the job we want or buy that new car, whether we are born tall or short, athletic or intellectual, all of life's limitations are evidence of God's love for us. God's strong hand of comfort and protection keeps us from danger, strengthens us in righteousness, comes from a place of love, and is ultimately holding us back or propelling us forward for our greatest good. Unlike my daughter's anger at her lack of freedom, I can cling tightly to the hand that is a grace to me, coming down from a Father who is invested in my best. A perfect Father, indeed.
Haylee is a wife, mother of four, and faithful church member. She holds an MTS from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and is a birth doula. Haylee is most passionate about Bible literacy and biblical theology. She recently authored her first book, God of Forever, with Hosanna Revival. You can find more of Haylee on Instagram at @hayleejwilliams or at www.hayleejwilliams.com
